Thursday, September 2, 2010
Okay, maybe not really, but there is something a little bit creepy about this ad. Or, it could be interpreted as creepy. It could also be totally legit. I'm not sure. Honestly? I just got home from a first day back to teaching in almost a year and people, I'm tired. So make of this ad what you will:
A middle aged physician, having long dwelt in foreign parts, and being now able to establish a comfortable home and to offer a desirable alliance, wishes to marry a healthy, good, handsome and poor woman. She must be a lady and of unquestioned standing. His preferences are for a person of about the following description: - Widow, without incumbrance; light hair, five feet five inches, 160 pounds, 32 years, housekeeper, alto voice. Such an one, or friends of such an one, will oblige by addressing Home Seeker, box 108 Herald Uptown office.
See I actually think he's sincere. Actually I'm not sure. I think he's probably sincere but I still get a creepy vibe that says he's one of those serial killers who always picks victims that are the same. Do people like that exist outside of television and movies? But what a funny description he gives of his ideal woman! I get that some people have preference for hair color, height, even weight. But he's like way, way too specific. Healthy, good, handsome, poor (why poor?), widowed, no children, light hair, 5'5", 160 pounds, 32 years, housekeeper, and, my personal favorite, alto voice. I take it back! He can't possibly be a serial killer with a type because there's no way that there are two women who fit this exact description. Maybe this is what his first wife, who died under mysterious circumstances in "foreign parts," was like? See? Creepy! Even if he isn't planning to kill her in some gruesome way that involves forcing her to sing (I...dunno what I'm talking about here), it's still weird that his ideal is this specific. I mean, fine, he says "preferences are for a person of about the following description," so clearly he's flexible. But how do you even come up with this?
I wonder if he got his wish, or if he settled for someone less than "ideal." And what happened next??
©2010 Pam Epstein