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I'm very versatile

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Hee hee hee. Okay, I'm sure this doesn't mean what just came into my head, but don't lie, you guys all thought the same thing.

Very versatile gentleman furnishes unique and original ideas for any practical purpose. Ingenuity, 242 Herald.
I suppose it's possible that your minds aren't as deeply in the gutter as mine, but to be fair on me, I happen to be able to look at all the ads surrounding this one, and they're all about love, and marriage, and (most importantly) sex. Like:

A young Frenchman (23), having a good situation, desires the acquaintance of a young American lady. Serieux, box 237 Herald office.

Refined young widow desires to hear from elderly gentleman of means; object, matrimony. Address Petite, Herald.

Neither Serieux nor Petite are looking for spouses; these were published in the early 1890s and by that time, "object, matrimony" had become - in many cases - a cover for people looking for (or offering themselves as) sugar daddies. Since there were also occasionally ads from men offering themselves as boy toys (more or less) - such as this guy or this guy (the second ad) - there's no reason why Mr. Versatile couldn't be offering his services in a similar way.

Fine, probably not. He doesn't say anything about offering his services to women only (but then again, maybe that's why he's versatile!!!), and he does say any "practical" purpose. I suppose he's probably just some eccentric guy who thinks he's a creative genius too brillian to work at a boring old job, so wants people to pay him to be clever. But I prefer my version. After all, if ads like this one, one of my all-time favorites, existed, then anything was possible.

©2010 Pam Epstein


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