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Drama!

Friday, February 5, 2010

So, this isn't a happy ad.  Happy ads are really hard to find!  I didn't quite cotton to that until I started actually deliberately looking for them as I said I would.  Even on Valentine's Day, when the advertisers are all full of adoration, they're still depressed that they can't be together, or see each other, or (as often as not) whining that their lovers don't care about them anymore.  Jeez.  Thus, no happy ad today.  Instead, passive-aggressive manipulative ad!  Because, if you can't find happy, find funny.

Jack. - As I am unintentionally causing you so much unhappiness, you will never be troubled by seeing me again after to-day, no matter what I suffer.  Then I hope you will be quite happy.  Is it not better so?  I have recourse to this method, first and last time, in order to ease your mind.  Do not think ill of me.  D*****G.

Man!  D*****G sure is laying it on thick there!  It's like the over-exaggerated melodrama is just dripping off the page!  I wonder, did D*****G intend to sound so sarcastic and snippy?  Because I cannot for the life of me imagine that DG (we're just going to go with DG from now on, if that's cool) did not know how obviously fake he/she is coming off. I refuse to believe this is completely sincere.  I swear it's like reading the script to a bad soap.

I suppose it's possible that it's just coming from the 21st century in which we're so used to jaded sarcasm that I assume this kind of manipulation is way too obvious.  Maybe back then this would have worked; today I think Jack would just roll his eyes and throw up his hands.  But at the same time, I don't think just because it was 100+ years ago people were denser than they are now.  Even if Jack was madly in love with DG there's no way he bought this whole self-sacrificing martyr yarn.

Nah.  They got in a big ugly fight, and now DG is playing the victim, and meanwhile, Jack's off getting drunk in a bar somewhere.  But don't worry folks, they worked it out:

While you were most gentle your pleading eyes were ample punishment.  Forgive me.  I don't believe that my Jack will ever have the heart to write one word that shall wound.  Dalecarlia.

Ugh.  Why do I predict this wasn't their first or last fight?

Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!

©2010 Pam Epstein

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