Friday, October 23, 2009
I was going to save this for another day, but don't have much time for editorial, so figured I'd use an ad that speaks for itself!
D.D.H. - I solemnly swear I love you only, and to death, as you declared you loved me. For the first time in my life I ask pardon. Let your loyal heart speak. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble D.D. ---. I swear I shall altogether henceforth dedicate my whole life to your happiness: a revolution has been accomplished. Never again an unkind word. Shall be constantly amiable as you always desired me to be. We will be married as soon as difficulties removed, which will be done promptly. We shall enjoy uninterrupted, supreme happiness. But if your own love does not persuade you to do this, let not this communication. A letter or telegram will bring ample funds promptly.
There are quite a lot of possibilities of things that may have prompted this ad, but my guess is that this author got caught fooling around with some other girl on the side. (It's got to be a man - I wouldn't buy for a second that a message written in this style could have been from a woman.) But, in my opinion, he's an arrogant prig who just doesn't want to lose D.D.H. (perhaps something to do with these "ample funds"?), and is really only sorry that he got caught. I mean, whatever happened - be it an affair or something else entirely - it seems pretty clear he was at fault, but he says "exchange forgiveness with me." As contrite as he's trying to sound, he still levels some of the blame at her.
It doesn't entirely add up to be a cheatin' heart, but it's the interpretation that I like best. Do you guys see it differently? I have to run, so feel free to give me your thoughts!
Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!
©2009 Pam Epstein