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What's in a name?

Monday, September 14, 2009

I found Hair-Dye and Eyebrows amusing. The Canoes were a little odd. Consolidated Ice could have been more creative. But this ad. This ad takes the cake for Worst Pseudonyms Ever.


"TRUNK - Make engagement for Tuesday afternoon or evening. DISMAL SWAMP, Herald Uptown office."

Trunk and Dismal Swamp?? Are you kidding me with this? Now, there's no reason to believe that this was an ad between lovers; it could have been anything. No matter what the purpose of this ad, however, Dismal Swamp is still just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Seriously, can you imagine? Two people are coming up with code names of how to address each other in the personals column. And somehow, somewhere, one of them is like, "I know: you be Trunk and I'll be Dismal Swamp!" Awesome!

Now, to be fair, there actually is a place in Virginia and North Carolina called the Great Dismal Swamp, so clearly they didn't actually make this up. In fact, maybe the purpose of this engagement was business, as there was a canal there; perhaps Trunk and Dismal Swamp were planning to move around some merchandise. Or, maybe they're 19th century goons and they've got a body in a trunk that they're going to dump in a swamp. Because that's likely.

Speaking of interesting pseudonyms, by the way, the Sadda Rang and Lalla Rang epic simply will not die. Look at this ad I found yesterday:


It says "BIB. - Come early to-night, Academy of Music; look sharp for G.A.S. Co.'s man with presentation cologne. DOD."

This ad comes about two weeks after the final Sadda and Lalla Rang installment (but before the other one I found recently), and it's too much of a coincidence to imagine that there might be another group of people who used the names Bib, Dod, and G.A.S. Co. This ad convinces me even more that the whole thing was a cover for some kind of illegal something - I'm still going with gambling ring, but I really don't know why. I do wonder what on earth "presentation cologne" is. Thoughts?

Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!

©2009 Pam Epstein

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