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Not so romantic

Friday, August 14, 2009

Matrimonials did not, of course, exist in a vacuum - they were surrounded by other ads. Depending on the paper, their location varied, but when they were placed in their own column, they tended to be buried somewhere in the middle of the paper at the bottom of the page. Which seems unfair, given the cost. And sometimes, the very uninspired (or uninterested) people who laid out the paper didn't exactly give matrimonials the best companions. So here, for your reading entertainment, are some ads that stood directly next to some of the most romantic matrimonial advertisements I've found:

This one's not so bad. Everyone needs a dentist from time to time. And according to this ad, Dr. Colton has 10,000 patients as well as, apparently, the entire medical profession in New York guaranteeing that he uses nitrous oxide safely and efficiently. Besides, if you're about to meet the man or woman of your dreams, your teeth had better look nice!


Massages! That sounds nice. And I've always thought that an "electric" bath would be pretty awesome. Shocking, but fun! So what's with all these scientific massages and magnetic treatments? This might belong more under the purview of my fellow advertising enthusiast, The Quack Doctor, because magnetic treatments were often touted as cures for various ailments. But scientific massages and magnetic treatments were also codes for something else. And if your mind went someplace very dirty - you were right. You can't advertise for prostitutes, but you can advertise for what I believe is called a "full-release" massage today. (Sometimes, these were also addressed to women; if this wasn't a family-friendly blog, I'd tell you more about the "cure" for female "hysteria.")

And finally, what has to be my favorite advertisement of all time:


This one is located just above our beloved Christopher Leighton, which somewhat dampens the effect of his romantic advertisement. I gotta tell you, the first time I saw an ad of this nature (this is not the only one for artificial eyes, I assure you), I was a little taken aback. It's not every day you see people advertising, you know, eyes!

Have a great weekend, folks!

Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!

©2009 Pam Epstein

2 comments:

Caroline August 16, 2009 at 5:56 AM  

Thanks for the link! Those 'ladies' certainly look as though they are offering some interesting services. I'm glad to see Miss Field finishes early on a Sunday!

Pam August 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM  

My pleasure! Your blog is great.

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