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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I really, really, really hope no one ever breaks up with me like this.

First, this ad:

It says: "Darling - I will. I love you with my whole heart. Sometimes I think you love another. Do you? Sol S."

Three days later comes the reply.

It reads: "Sol S. - I will answer your question without reserve. I do love another; forget and forgive if I have caused you pain; it has not been done intentionally."

I didn't watch every episode of "Sex and the City", not having even basic cable, but I did see the Post-It episode, and that's the first thing I thought of when I saw this ad. The circumstances are, of course, very different, but it still sucks to be dumped in a one-liner and in writing.

Seriously, that's gotta hurt. Can you imagine baring your heart and then opening the paper to see this? Obviously I don't know the whole story; maybe this person had no other way to contact Sol S. After all, that's how Sol S. communicated, so it's likely, although if it was me I'd do everything I could to find a nicer way to handle this. Like, meeting in person, which I assume they must have done at some point or another. My personal take is the advertiser is a total jerk who actually thinks a dismissive "forget and forgive if I have caused you pain; it has not been done intentionally" will go over well - or just doesn't care one way or another.

I suppose everyone who has gone through a bad break up can take comfort in knowing they're the only one ever to get this kind of blow-off. Quite the contrary; people have been heartless and giving attitude for over 100 years!

Sol S., you're long gone, but I think I can safely say: you were better off without this creep.

Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!

©2009 Pam Epstein


Mimi July 29, 2009 at 9:12 AM  

Interesting--I read it as a woman trying to let a man down gently. After all, if she's not interested, what else is she to say?

Still sucks for Sol S., though.

Arwen July 29, 2009 at 1:14 PM  

Yeah, I read this differently from you as well. It doesn't read like a dumping, but like the final confirmation that it really is over forever, I didn't mean to hurt you, please move on.

Pam July 29, 2009 at 2:04 PM  

I guess I'm just a cynic today. ;)

Anonymous July 29, 2009 at 4:29 PM  

Yes, I read Sol S. as a man too.

But what is the "I will" he begins with (you seem to have mis-transcribed it slightly)? What is he agreeing to do? She has obviously asked something of him... Oh, the mystery! And we will never know.

One could weave all sorts of stories around this. At first I was with her, but now I wonder if she's been manipulating him; perhaps she was perfectly well aware of Sol's feelings and had used that to get him to do her a favour, but now she's moving on and letting him know it. Ouch indeed!

Pam July 29, 2009 at 5:22 PM  

Anonymous - good catch; you're right, I missed that extra "I" when I wrote this out. Made the fix The person being addressed asked Sol S. to do something for him or her. That's one of the things that makes me think this person is a bit of a jerk. (Although it's funny - you all read this person as a man, whereas I saw Sol as a woman. Wonder why!)

Anonymous July 30, 2009 at 6:21 AM  

Pam - For me Sol feels very much a man's name (from Solomon?), especially as it's from the US.

I know lots of these ads use nicknames of all sorts, but this does appear to be first name + initial of surname.

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