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Pick-up artists

Friday, June 5, 2009

A couple readers who are, apparently, far more cynical than I am read yesterday's advertiser as more of a sleazeball who was trying to pick up a woman on the street and hopefully get laid. I'd be far more inclined to agree if he hadn't taken the trouble to apologize, especially without leaving an address! But, I am willing to admit that I might be too much of a romantic.

That being said, there were definitely some guys placing these missed connection ads who sound pretty sleazy to me. Here are some examples.


These are hard to read, so the text is here:

Third avenue car, Friday morning - Will lady dressed in black, who got off at Ninth street and went across Broadway, correspond to gentleman she smiled to and who afterwards met her on Ninth street? Address, in strict confidence, B.C., Box 137 Herald office.

Broadway car, Barclay street, yesterday - Lady in black: gentleman following, holding up slip of paper, desires acquaintance. Address M. Raymond, Herald office.

The gentleman who followed and was several times noticed by the lady dressed in cloth basque, who called in a store in Nassau street about half past four o'clock on Tuesday afternoon, and then proceeded by way of Ann street to Broadway and got into a Twenty-third street stage, would be delighted to make her acquaintance. Please address Paul Vincent, Broadway Post office.


I'd like to say these men were just so struck with the beauty of the women they addressed that they didn't even realize that they were being, well, stalkers. The first guy apparently jumped off the Ninth street car at the same time she did just because she gave him a smile (we all smile at strangers sometimes when they're staring at us) and then loitered around waiting for her. The second - can you imagine you're walking down the street and some guy is following you holding up a slip of paper? Did he figure that was some universal sign? Was he waving it around? What was he doing, exactly, with this slip of paper??

And finally, the best one, who waited for this poor, poor woman while she went into a store, stalked her down Ann street, and waited around until she got onto a stagecoach. Dude, she "noticed" you several times because you were following her! I can just picture this lady going into a store and then realizing that some crazy man is waiting outside for her, rushing down Ann street and looking behind her several times to see if he is following her, getting to Broadway and jumping on the first stage that went by. And he thinks she wants a rendezvous? I mean, maybe, who knows? But I know that if some guy was following me around like this, I would be jumping on the first bus that came along too. Yikes!

So yeah, not everyone who was posting these missed connections had honorable intentions. But I still stand by yesterday's "gentleman."

Having trouble reading the ads? Click one to enlarge!

©2009 Pam Epstein

5 comments:

Doogie June 5, 2009 at 9:44 AM  

Agreed on the creepy stalker factor here. Dude with the following habit is lucky the lady wasn't freaked enough to call upon law enforcement for protection.

Breukellen June 5, 2009 at 10:40 AM  

Haha. Thanks for a good laugh. These guys are definitely creepy stalkers. I will concede about yesterday's gentleman (you have me talking all nineteenth century, when even the stalkers were "gentlemen")

Pam June 5, 2009 at 1:06 PM  

Right? There are definitely a lot of skeevy guys out there. I want them all to be sincere, but sometimes you have to face facts.

Anonymous June 19, 2009 at 8:02 PM  

Even creepier: notice that all the women were widows, or in mourning, and hence easy prey for someone scheming or stalking.

Pam June 19, 2009 at 10:28 PM  

@Anon, yeah, interestingly you'll even see ads sometimes addressed to a lady described as in mourning, like, you'd expect that to be something that would prevent men from trying to attract women's attention. Guess not.

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